nothingness!!

longing for something you know you cant have..
even if you wish so hard,,
even if you pray your heart aloud,,
blaming yourself for not believing..
blaming yourself for not listening ,,
now your having a hard time,,
forgiving,,
forgetting,,

i am lost..
dont know where i stand?
dont know where i am heading?
dont know where to begin?
can i still go back?
can i still go on?

moving on? i cant go on,,
hope i could still hang on..

too many questions..
cruelty of fate? will of the wind?
or the mystery of life?
hope i find the answer to my questions,
before oblivion prevails,,
before nirvana reigns..

nothing to say, so much to do..
being half a man..
is it too late to say?..
that until now i don’t understand..
i still don’t understand..